


I'm Okay With That

by Desirae



Series: Loved you forever [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Castiel, Complete, Friends to Lovers, Jealousy, Light Angst, M/M, Mechanic Dean, Mutual Pining, NSFW Art, Professor Castiel, Rimming, Sam Ships It, Supernatural AU - Freeform, Top Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-21
Updated: 2015-05-22
Packaged: 2018-03-31 12:52:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3978748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Desirae/pseuds/Desirae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Look Cas, I'm sorry, okay? Really. I never meant for you to find out, or make you uncomfortable. We can just pretend this whole thing never happened."</p><p>"Seriously? Pretend that I <i>didn't<i></i></i> just learn you've been in love with me for fourteen years?"</p><p> </p><p>  </p><p> </p><p>  </p><p>
  <i>Dean has been in love with his best friend Castiel Novak since they were children. A fact that Cas was NEVER supposed to find out.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'm Okay With That

**Author's Note:**

> Not beta'd, all mistakes my own. Hope you enjoy it, it was fun to write. 
> 
>  [](http://imgur.com/35svTlK)

Castiel had just shoved a colgate covered toothbrush into his mouth when he heard the front door to his and his best friend Dean's apartment open and abruptly slam shut. He heard raised voices before he could even call out. He hastily spit and rinsed. Cas had just finished toweling off when he heard Dean yell gruffly.

"I said leave it alone Sammy! We are NOT talking about this."

Uh-oh. Sam was here too. It was never pretty when the Winchester brothers argued. Castiel figured it was all the worse, because they usually got along so well. It's hard not to be close siblings when one of them had practically raised the other, as Dean had Sam.

"Dean, we need to talk about this. Seriously. You have to just man up and tell him."

Tell who what? In Cas's bid to be quiet, he ever so quietly climbed into his boxers, and of course jammed his toe into the side of the toilet in the process. Castiel bit his lip to hold in the groan and he silently hopped on one foot. It occurred to him that Dean must have forgotten that Cas had taken Friday off to enjoy a rare long weekend. He felt bad to be essentially eavesdropping, but the thought of bringing attention to himself now would just be awkward. Besides, it wasn't as though he wouldn't hear about whatever the brothers were arguing about from Dean later on anyway. Dean always bitched to Cas when he and Sam fought. Who else made a better sounding board than your best friend of 17 years? The argument continued on as Cas finished dressing. He was actually thankful for his brother Gabriel for a moment. He had taught Cas at a young age to always bring the clothes you are changing into, with you, or else risk coming back into your room to get dressed in a fresh pair of underwear filled with itching powder.

"Man up? Are fucking kidding me, Sam? You really think it's that simple?"  Cas heard Dean say, along with what sounded like the crack of a beer can. At 10am. _Peerrrfffect_. Fully dressed now in sweats and Dean's Metallica tee-shirt, he sat down on the toilet lid with a sigh, running a hand through his perpetually messy dark hair. If the Winchester bar and saloon was open this early, he figured he may just be in here for awhile.

"Uh, well yeah. I mean, what are you going to do, come sleep on my couch everytime it happens?"

"No! Charlie has a couch too."

Cas could practically see the sarcastic shit-eating grin he knew was gracing Dean's face. 

"Look, Dean, I don't think you're giving Cas enough credit." 

_What_? Castiel's ears perked up at that. _Him? They were talking about him?_

"It's not like he would just stop being your friend if he didn't like what you had to say. Cas isn't like that. What's the worst that could happen, aside from everything staying the same?" Sam's voice was soothing and reasonable, but Dean just chuckled darkly.

"Right Sam, like it wouldn't be the least bit awkward if I came out and said it."

For a moment it was quiet, and Cas felt like a teen awaiting the latest gossip, which normally he would be ashamed of. But since he was the topic of said gossip, Castiel figured that it was okay. To stop himself from impatiently tapping his fingers, he absently fiddled with a apple scented shampoo bottle. Another can cracked.

"Alright Sam, listen. I am going to say what I have to say once, and I am _not_ going to say it again. You are going to listen, pause and reflect, whatever it is you have to fucking do, then you are never going to bring this up again. It hurts too fucking much. Capisce?" There was no sound, but Cas assumed Sam must have nodded because he heard his best friend continue.

"I have been in love with Castiel since I was 14 years old."

The bottle nearly slipped through Cas' fingers as his heart pounded in utter shock.

"Ever since that day he slashed Meg Masters bike tires for knocking down that bees nest," Dean laughed softly.

"I love everything about him. His seriousness, his kindness. Did you know that he works at the homeless shelter on 4th at least twice a month, without fail?" There was a pause and a sigh. "I love that he doesn't get pop culture references and that I get to teach them to him. I love that his eyes are bluer than cornflowers and that his hair always looks like he just got fucked.," The sound of a cabinet opening and closing. "I love his mind. He's God-Damned brilliant Sam. He's _you_ brilliant. And despite that, he's still my best friend. He actually wastes his time with me." 

Castiel's chest felt like it was on fire, and he realized it was because he had been holding his breath. 

"I am not the kind of guy someone like Castiel Novak goes for. Just ask Balthazar. He'll tell you. I'm a grease monkey with a GED. I'm fun to hang out with, but I am not the kind of person Cas could settle down with. I'm not good enough, Sammy. Balthazar, he's good enough. He's a holier than thou dick, but he treats Cas right. He deserves that. He deserves someone who can take him to classy restaurants. Someone who can tell the difference between a Renior and a paint by numbers. Balthazar can do that and Cas is happy. Really happy, these damn thin walls don't lie. Not that I want to listen to it," Dean's voice was bitter tinged sadness.

Castiel thought back on last night, when he had brought Balthazar home. They were going to watch a documentary on transcendentalism and Balth had a made a crack to Dean about how they would watch it in 'Cassie's' room so as not to strain Dean's brain. Cas had smacked him in the arm, but Dean had just laughed and in turn said that that was fine, but would he and Cas mind keeping it down when they jerked each other off to the encyclopedia, because the neighbors had complained the last time. Balthazar had accused him of being jealous and Dean had cheekily replied that Balth had 'no idea how much that was true'.  Castiel felt his heart break as he realized Dean's flippant answers hid the truth. He _was_ jealous. That was why whenever Balthazar spent the night, Dean stayed somewhere else. How had he not noticed that? How the hell had Dean hidden this from him so well for so long? Castiel quietly padded out of the bathroom and down the towards the living room.

 "The point is Sammy, he has never shown any interest. Not when I came out as Bi, not ever. English professors with PHd's don't go for guitar playing mechanics with Daddy issues. And that's fine. It really, really is. Because Cas is my best friend. He is my world. And if keeping things kosher, if making sure he stays in my world means I hide my feelings for another 14 years? Then yeah. I'm okay with that. "

Cas stepped into the entrance way and saw Sam's eyes widened as their gazes met.

"What's up with your face, man?" Dean asked. Sam just gaped, like an adorable floppy haired fish. Castiel cleared his throat and saw his best friend's shoulders go ramrod straight. He turned around and his horror filled eyes locked on Cas'.

"Hello, Dean."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is gives you some history on Dean&Cas's relationship. Also, The T is what we here in Mass call the subway/train station. I figure, write what you know. Once again, this is un beta'd, mistakes all my own. Hope you like it, one more chapter left to go.

_17 years before_

The Summer before Dean turned ten, he and his six year old brother Sam moved in with their surrogate uncle, Bobby Singer, just outside of Boston Massachusetts. When Dean was seven, his mother was hit by a drunk driver on her way home from work. His father John never recovered, and in an ironic twist of fate wound up in jail for vehicular homicide after getting smashed at a dive bar and hitting a newlywed couple. They didn't survive and amazingly he was left without a scratch. Dean will be 32 before John is even eligible for parole.

Bobby Singer was a gruff, big hearted man who had lost his wife Karen to cancer before the boys were born. He didn't know much about raising children, but he did his best, and Dean helped. He gave Sam his baths, soothed his nightmares and made him pb&j sandwiches. Dean considered protecting his brother and helping Bobby out as much as he could his job. And Dean was okay with that. He liked feeling needed.

 

The day Dean met Castiel it was hot. One of those summer days where one could actually _smell_ the tar on the road.  Bobby lived in an apartment above his mechanic shop, Singer Auto. While Bobby was working, Dean took his brother down the street to the park. Looking back, he was probably a little too young to be wandering on his own, but the park was within yelling distance to Bobby's garage. 

The park was fairly empty when they arrived.  There was a teenaged boy heavily making out with a girl on a bench. Two boys who looked about twelve were hanging from the monkey bars, and a small dark haired boy was sitting on a small patch of grass, looking intently at something on the ground.

Dean helped Sammy onto a swing and started pushing him. After a few minutes, he noticed the two boys from the monkey bars make their way over to the little boy on the grass.  Dean didn't have a good feeling.

"Hey you," Dean heard one of them say. "Whatcha doing?"

The dark haired boy looked up, and said, "I'm watching these ants bring food into their tunnel." 

The two boys smirked at each other, one rather skinny with a dirty brown rats tail, the other slightly thicker in a backwards ball cap. 

"Oh yeah?" ball cap said, "Not anymore!" and proceeded to stomp all over the ground in front of the little boy.  

Dean stopped pushing Sammy. He leaned down to his brother. "Stay here for a minute, okay?"

Dean strode over to the boys and called out, "Hey jackass. Why don't you pick on someone who's not already on the ground?"

The boys looked over at him as he got closer. The bullies in amusement, the dark haired boy in awe. Dean noticed he had the bluest eyes he had ever seen. They were like the flowers Dean's Mom used to keep in her garden. 

"You get that we're bigger than you, right?" Rat Tail snickered.

Dean just smiled widely and said, "Try me."

Ball Cap clumsily attempted a right hook, which Dean blocked with his left, before nailing him in the gut and stomping on his foot. John hadn't been the best father, but he had taught Dean to defend himself.  Rat Tail was already backing away while Ball Cap bent over, trying to catch his breath. Dean raised his fist again in a mock threat and the larger boy backed up. "Fine, I'll leave the little squirt alone," he said with a wheeze.

"Yeah, I thought you might," Dean said as the boy stumbled away. He turned back to the blue eyed boy, who was still staring up at him, almost in wonder.

"What's your name?" Dean asked the boy.

"Castiel," The boy answered.

"Hey Cas," Dean said with a grin. "My name's Dean. And that little rugrat on the swing is my little brother Sammy. Wanna come play with us?"

 

After that meeting, the boys were nearly inseparable. Dean found out to his surprise that Cas was actually a year older than him. He also learned on the walk home that the teenaged boy sucking face on the bench was Castiel's fourteen year old brother Gabriel. Dean was sure to congratulate him on his baby-sitting skills.

"It's all good, Dean-o. Looks like Cassie has you to look after him now," Gabriel had snarked good-naturedly around a lollipop.

It turned out that the Novak boys lived in the apartment complex across the street from the garage, with their Mom Becky and their Dad Chuck. Dean and Sam spent a lot of time over their house that summer, when they weren't watching Bobby work. Dean found engines fascinating. He didn't think Cas really cared, but he listened anyway because he knew it made Dean happy.

Even though Cas was a year older than Dean, he still sat with the brothers everyday on the bus, and he never ignored Dean in the halls at school. After school they always found something to do together. Dean never felt more content, happy or just plain safe, than when he was with Castiel.

 

Dean was about twelve when he realized he liked boys as well as girls. When he got up he courage to tell Cas, the blue eyed boy just drew him into a hug and told him it was okay, and that he would always be his best friend. Dean had been so relieved, a few tears had leaked out. Cas just wiped them away and thanked Dean for trusting him.

Dean was fourteen when he realized he was in love with his best friend. They were walking through the park and Castiel was fuming. His class had just taken a field trip through the _Boston Commons_ that day, and apparently one of his classmates, Meg, had taken it upon herself to use her orange to knock down a beehive.

"She just chucked it at it, Dean! And we just talked in ecology about how important bees are to our environment!  And when I confronted her, she just laughed and said ' _don't be such a pussy Clarence'_ ," Castiel was ranting, pushing his hands into his hair. Dean looked at him, thinking he what a beautiful disaster he was. The thought came out of nowhere and left him breathless for a moment, stunned into standing still. Castiel stopped when he realized Dean wasn't next to him. He raised a brow, concerned. "Dean, are you alright? You look really pale," Castiel asked in his gravely voice. Yes, puberty had turned Cas' vocals into smoke and whiskey.

Dean pulled himself together and smiled. "Yeah, I was just thinking. I know something that will make you feel better."

And that's how Dean and Cas wound up behind the _store 24_ , where Dean acted as lookout while Cas used Dean's pocket knife to jab little cuts into the tires of Meg's bike that was chained to the rack. "I can't believe I am doing this. You sir, are a terrible influence on me."

"Relax, she deserves it," Dean said, and when Castiel looked at him with mischief in his eyes and that adorable gummy smile, Dean knew he was sunk. He also knew he'd do whatever it took to make sure Cas was always happy, even if it wasn't with him.

 

When Dean was sixteen, he and Bobby fixed up John's car, a black 67 Chevy Impala.  At first Dean had been leery of driving a car with such a tragic history, but Cas told him he could make better memories with it. When Dean got his license, he and Cas drove an hour and a half away to Plymouth beach. "We are never driving in your pimp mobile again," Dean had said from behind the wheel, talking about Cas's beat up continental.  Cas had thrown his head back laughing and said "Hey, I like my pimp mobile!"

 

When Dean was seventeen he quit school to work full time. School had always been a challenge, even more so with Cas no longer with him. Dean knew he wanted to work in the shop with Bobby. He wanted to be able to put aside money for Sammy, because that kid was college bound. Cas did not support Dean's decision to leave school, but was relieved when Dean at least got his GED. He admired Dean's loyalty to his brother, he just wished that Dean would put himself first for once. Castiel commuted by the T to Boston University. They didn't get to hang out as much during the week between Dean's job and Cas' studies, but they made sure to have movie night every Saturday. Sam often joined them when he wasn't studying or with his then girlfriend Jess. Sam had aspirations of being an environmental lawyer which Castiel fully supported. Castiel's love for the environment was second only to the written word, and he was looking to get his PhD in English and American literature.

 

The first time Castiel invited a boy home to meet Dean and his family was the first time he'd cried himself to sleep since his mother had passed. But Dean put on a brave face because Cas was happy and that was all that mattered. And Dean forced himself to not be offended that Cas had never told him that he was into guys. And he tried not to weep at the realization that even though he was, he clearly never looked at Dean that way. So even when seeing them kiss felt like a knife through the heart, Dean smiled on. Besides, it was hard not to like Alfie. He really was a sweet guy. That relationship lasted 5 months. During that time, Dean went through men and woman like Kleenex, but nothing stuck. Of course it didn't. He was and would always be in love with Castiel.

Dean and Cas got their own apartment together when Dean was twenty. He had been working for a few years by that point, and had a small nest egg put aside for Sam's education. Between his job at the garage and Cas' job at the coffee shop on campus, they were able to afford a pretty decent two bedroom, close to the T and Dean's work.

The following year Sam got offered a full ride at both Stanford and NYU. He chose NYU to be closer to his brother. Sam cried when Dean gave him a check at his celebration dinner. Dean called him a girl, and Castiel and Bobby both whacked him upside the head.

"Let him thank you, you idjit!" Bobby had grumbled and Cas had just looked at him with fond pride, knowing Dean's sacrifice would cover what the scholarship didn't, like books and housing.

Castiel got his PhD when he was twenty-four and a teaching position at the university. Dean took him out to dinner at some fancy place near campus, way out of his league. Ironically, it was where Cas met Balthazar. He was working as a bartender while going to school to get his PhD in art history. They hit it off right away. Dean and Balthazar, on the other hand, were like oil and water, but Dean played nice for Cas' sake. When Balth came over, Dean played guitar in his room. Or he went Larping with Charlie, Cas' cousin and the closest thing he had to another best friend. The first time he heard them going at it in Cas' room, he'd actually thrown up, before going to stay at Charlie's with her and her girlfriend Tessa for the night. He suspected that Charlie knew of his feelings, but she never pushed. But now that Sam was home, interning for a firm in Boston, Dean more often than not crashed with him when he needed to get away. Sam was the only one who truly knew Dean's feelings for Castiel. He had gotten drunk one night after overhearing Castiel in what could only be described as an orgasm of epic proportion, and he let it slip. Well, kind of. He had drunkenly slurred "He'll never love me like that," and Sam had inferred from there. And he had been pretty decent about it, only shooting a few knowing looks here and there.

Until today. Until now. Until Castiel snuck up behind him and said "Hello, Dean," in that voice that haunted his fantasies and ripped at his heart.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the final chapter. Once again, not beta'd. Hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading.  
> Blessed be:)0(

The air in the room was thick and oppressive. Castiel could see how uncomfortable Sam was, chewing his lip like a guilty child caught stealing cookies. But it was nothing compared to his best friend. Cas could see how visibly shaken Dean was. His face was chalk white, making the freckles across the bridge of his nose stand out prominently. His moss green eyes were wide and terrified. His breath came in short bursts, like someone who'd been punched in the gut. Castiel was both heartbroken for Dean and angry with him at the same time.

 "Um, yeah, so I think I'm gonna just go," Sam said, heading for the door. He was in such a hurry, he managed to jam his hip into the side of the big brown sofa behind him.

"No Sammy, you can stay."

"Yes Sam, I believe that would be best." Dean and Cas said at the same time. Castiel leveled his stare at Dean, daring him without words to contradict him again. "Your brother and I have much to discuss," Cas said, his eyes never leaving Dean's face. He barely registered the sound of the door closing.

* * *

 

Dean didn't even know where to begin. All he could do was look at Castiel. His hair was a damp, unruly mess, his square jaw unshaven and covered with a light stubble. His pink chapped lips were drawn in a tight line, and he was staring at Dean with angry, cobalt eyes.  You would think being in a pair of low hung sweats and Dean's own shirt would make him appear softer, but no. Right then Castiel was intimidating as fuck. Dean couldn't take it anymore.

"Look Cas, I'm sorry, okay? Really. I never meant for you to find out, or make you uncomfortable. We can just pretend this whole thing never happened."

"Seriously? Pretend that I _didn't_ just learn you've been in love with me for fourteen years?" Cas said harshly, arms folded over his chest.

"Please Cas," Dean whispered, "nothing has to change," he stressed the words.

Cas threw his head back and laughed maniacally, and slowly started pacing. "Nothing has to change? Are you kidding? Of course it does!" he was yelling at this point and Dean flinched. "It changes _everything_ Dean!"

Dean said nothing for a moment, just took a second to collect himself, then cleared his throat. "I'll, um, I'll leave, okay? I'll leave money for the next few months rent and go stay with Sam. I can come get my stuff while you're at work," He started to walk away, but Cas was having none of that.

"Dean Winchester, if you even think of walking out that door right now, I _will_ tackle you to the ground," Castiel growled. "Do you even get why I am so pissed off right now? Can you even comprehend? How could you not tell me? How could you hide something so important from me, _about me,_ for years?"

Dean snapped. "Why do you think? To avoid this! To save myself from ever seeing that look on your face! It was fine! Everything was fine. And now everything is all kinds of fucked up, just like I knew it would be if you ever found out!'

"Okay, first of all, do you even know how insulting that is? Regardless of my feelings on the matter, when have I _ever_ given you reason to think anything you could say would ever make me turn you away, or stop being your friend? How can you have such little faith in our friendship?" Castiel's voice wasn't just angry now, Dean could see he was clearly hurt, and that sucked the wind right out of his sails. He dragged a hand down his face and sighed.

"I was too afraid to risk it. I didn't want you to be creeped out, or to second guess if every time I touched you, or, I don't know, hugged you, that I was hitting on you or something. It was just easier if you didn't know."

For a moment, they were both quiet, just processing each other's words.

Calmer now, Cas asked, "Why didn't you? Make a move, I mean?"

Surprised by the question, Dean sat on the couch. Cas sat down next to him, angled towards him. "You're my best friend. I didn't want to ruin that. It's not like you ever seemed interested anyway. I mean, you never even blinked when I came out, so why would I think you would be? Hell, I always thought you were straight till you brought Alfie home. You never said a word. And that right there made it pretty clear you didn't think of me that way," Dean was horrified to hear how broken his voice sounded and took a shuddering breath. Before Cas could respond, they were both startled by a knock on the door.

* * *

 

A voice called out as the knob turned. "Cassie, darling? You home?" As Balthazar's British tones filled the room, Castiel watched Dean, fascinated. He could actually _see_ it as it happened, Dean pulling on the mask. His face was suddenly clear of all distress and a cocky smile graced his features. It was like flicking a fucking switch. Castiel ached to think of the years of practice that had perfected that move.

"Hey, Gordon Ramsey, to what do we owe the pleasure?" Dean asked jovially.

The tall blond Brit sighed heavily. "Ah, Dean. I just adore that high school drop out humor. But pardon me, the adults need to speak now," He turned his eyes to Castiel. "I believe I left my brief case in your room love. I just wanted to grab it, and see if I could steal you away for lunch."

Dean clapped his hands and started to rise from the couch. "Well, I think I'll just leave you to it then," He didn't get far because Cas gripped his wrist hard and pulled him down.

"Balthazar, now is not a good time. And I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't speak to Dean that way, especially in his own home."

"Oh, come on Cassie, he started it! " Balthazar whined.

"Well I'm finishing it. Get your brief case and I will call you later."

"You know, I don't need you to protect me from your douchebag boyfriend," Dean said petulantly, after Balthazar had left. "His words mean nothing to me."

Castiel still hadn't let go of Dean's wrist and his thumb was running slow circles on the skin. "Oh really? Is that why you are under the impression that I couldn't possibly fathom a relationship with, what was it? Ah yes. A grease monkey with a GED and Daddy issues? Or that in order to be happy I need fancy dinners and stimulating conversations about art? Am I really that much of a snob, Dean, that you think that is all I need to be happy?"

Dean sighed and looked at Cas directly. "It's not just about what you need. It's about what you deserve Cas. You deserve someone you can be proud of."

Castiel sucked in a breath at that. "Damn it, Dean! You can be such a...such a...God...such an assbutt!" Dean couldn't help but chuckle at that.

"Man Cas, you really need to work on your insults," But Castiel wasn't listening.

"Dean, there is no one I am more proud of than you. You are the most caring, most self-sacrificing human being I have ever met. I knew the day I met you, that having you in my life was a blessing. That being able to call you my very best friend was a blessing. And now?" Castiel sighed brokenly, "Now all I can think about is all the wasted time," Cas reached up and cupped Dean's cheek, gently caressing his stubble.

* * *

 

Dean forgot how to breathe for a moment, then it all rushed out in a whoosh. "Cas," he whispered, "what exactly are you saying?"

Cas stared into Dean's wide green eyes. "I'm saying, did it not ever occur to you that I could feel the same way? That maybe I've been in love with you all this time as well? I'm saying it's you, Dean. It's always been you."

And that was it. Game over. Dean surged forward, cupping Castiel's face in his hands and captured his mouth. Cas whimpered against his lips and it was the most beautiful sound Dean had ever heard. He licked into his mouth, stroking his tongue against Cas'. He tasted of cinnamon toothpaste and it was like ambrosia. Castiel's hands moved up to fist in Dean's honey colored hair and nimbly straddled Dean's waist as they continued to suck and nibble at each others lips. When Dean finally broke away to suck in a breath, Cas just continued to grind down on his lap and proceeded to suck and bite along Dean's neck. Dean didn't want to stop, but he had to.

"Wait, wait, wait," Dean tangled his fingers in Cas' hair, _God it was as soft as he'd imagined_ , and pulled his head back to meet his gaze. Castiel looked sinful, his pink lips slick with spit, his eyes lust blown and nearly black with arousal. Hell, he could feel Cas' arousal rutting against his. "As much as I love where this is going, cause believe me, I do, but your boyfriend _just_ walked out of here. The boyfriend you were having sex with last night. Should we maybe talk about that before we go any further?" Dean was proud of himself for being a mature adult about it all, but he was pretty sure his cock wanted to punch him in the face. 

"Dean," Cas said as he started to slowly unbutton his best friend's flannel shirt, pushing it off of his shoulders to reveal a plain black tee-shirt underneath, "Balthazar and I have never had sex," With that, Cas went back to sucking a mark into Dean's neck, while running his long fingers up under his shirt to stroke at his nipples.

Dean groaned. "Cas, ah, fuck, I am pretty familiar with the sounds of sex, and I know I've heard them from you so... damn your tongue is awesome...so I'm gonna need an explanation here."

"Fine. But then I'm gonna need you to shut up and fuck me because I have waited too long for this."

Dean nodded eagerly, still not quite convinced this wasn't a dream.

Castiel slid off of Dean's lap and held out his hand. Dean grasped it and Cas silently led him out of the living room and into his bedroom. He pushed Dean back onto the bed, then casually stood upright and began peeling off his borrowed shirt.  It took everything Dean had just to keep his hands to himself. As Cas knelt down to untie the laces of Dean's boots he spoke.

"You're right. Balthazar and I did date for a little bit, but for awhile now we've been just friends. It's really not my place to say, but," Cas paused to tug one boot off, then the other, "I think in this case it's necessary. Balthazar is asexual. We had kissed a few times, but it never went beyond that."

Dean looked down at Cas kneeling before him, and God was that a beautiful sight. As Cas tugged off his socks Dean stuttered. "B-but I've heard you! I've heard you, like, alot."

Castiel rose and smirked at him. "Ever heard of masturbation, Dean?" he asked, then proceeded to drop his pants and boxers. Dean couldn't hold back the moan, because Cas was naked and his cock was hard and dripping and all Dean wanted to do was lick. "But see, you wouldn't know that Balthazar is never in here with me, because you are always in your room by the time he leaves. Or on the rare nights he does stay over to watch a movie, you have gone to Sam's or Charlie's," Cas pushed Dean flat on the bed and went to work on his fly, and Dean instinctively raised his hips so Castiel could pull his jeans and briefs off. As Dean pulled his shirt off, Cas was busy licking his lips at the sight of Dean's dripping length and asked with a wide smile, "Are we done with the questions now?" Dean just nodded and Cas climbed over him, straddling his hips. He leaned down to take Dean's lips in a hot kiss. Their cocks slid against each other, slick from their juices, creating a delicious friction, but Dean wanted more. He deftly flipped them over and Cas chuckled, low and throaty. Dean lavished his collar bone with kisses and his fingers traveled down to pinch and pull at Cas' nipples.

Cas arched up. " _Uh, god yes,_ " Dean slowly slithered down Cas' body, paying special attention to his hip bones. He could spend hours on those hip bones, especially if it garnered the exquisite moans and whimpers he was drawing out of Cas now. But that thick cock was calling to him, like a siren.

"Do you wanna know what I think about when I get myself off, Dean? _Hngh_ , _ah, ah,_ I think about this," Cas grunted as Dean's mouth tongued at his leaking slit. He swirled the head in his mouth before going all the way down.

"Oh fuck!" Cas yelled as he felt his cock hit the back of Dean's throat. Dean hummed appreciatively around it and Cas couldn't help but pump his hips into  Dean's mouth. "You, _ah_ , you have to stop, _ohhh fuck_. I'm too close Dean, _ah_."

Dean slid off with a pop and laughed. "Don't worry, I've got you, sweetheart," he said, and Cas whimpered at the endearment. Dean reached up to grab a pillow and slid it under Castiel's ass. Cas pulled his legs to his chest, and Dean parted his firm cheeks. Dean blew a hot breath over Cas' pink puckered entrance. "Do you ever think about this when you're getting off, Cas?" he asked, then proceeded to tongue and lick at his hole. Castiel howled obscenely.

" _Oh, oh, oh, yes, hmm.  Eat me out, Dean, just like I, oh fuck, fuck_ , _just like I imagined._ "

It was a miracle Dean didn't come from that alone.

"Cas, sweetheart, where's the lube?" Castiel motioned to the night stand with a clenched fist.  After grabbing the lube out of the drawer, Dean paused for a moment to slick up his fingers, before slowly sliding one in Cas' hole up to the knuckle. "Relax Castiel, relax," Dean said as Cas panted. _God, he was so hot and tight_ Dean thought as he carefully worked him until he was three fingers deep and brushed over that special area inside that had Cas crying out and riding back on Dean's fingers.

"Dean! Dean, I'm ready, please. _Nnhgn_ , need your cock, now."

"Condom?"

"I'm clean. You?" Cas asked breathily. Dean answered by slicking up his cock. He leaned forward and Cas hitched his legs over Dean's shoulders. Dean slowly breeched Cas' entrance and they both moaned loudly when he bottomed out. Forehead to forehead, they panted into each others mouths. Cas pulled Dean's head down for a biting kiss then said "Now fucking move!" Dean didn't need to be told twice, and started slowly stroking in. Cas was nearly bent in half and Dean thanked God for yoga.

" _Faster, Dean please, I need it. Ah ah, harder!_ "

"Sweetheart, I'm not gonna last," Dean moaned, and when he angled his hips up to go harder, Cas screamed.

" _Oh God, right there. Right FUCKING there Dean_!" Cas was a writhing mess, and Dean made sure to keep nailing that spot on every other thrust. He could feel his balls drawing up tight when suddenly Cas arched up. He was coming, untouched on a silent cry. The sight alone was enough to push Dean over the edge.

" _Oh fuck! God, I love you. I love you, Cas_!" Dean slumped forward, burying his face in the crook of Castiel's neck. Cas carded his trembling fingers through Dean's sweat soaked hair.

"I love you too, Dean, always."

They dozed off after that, and when they awoke, their limbs were still entwined.

"I have to ask, why did you get _so_ mad at me for keeping my feelings a secret, when you apparently did the same thing?" Dean's chin was propped up on one hand, looking down at Castiel. He trailed the fingertips of his other hand across Cas' lips and Cas playfully nipped at them.

"Well, you kept it a secret because you _insanely_ thought you weren't good enough, whereas I just thought you weren't interested. I just never let myself entertain the thought that you would want this with me so... I kind of buried it."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Oh, so that makes it alright then?" he asked, voice laced with sarcasm. Castiel just smiled and pulled him down for a deep kiss.

"Can't we just both agree that we wasted enough time, and move on from here? Please? Is that okay?"

Dean cagily fell forward so his body was lying flush over his love, his best friend, his world. "Yeah sweetheart, I'm okay with that."

 

The End

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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